album review: brand new's the devil and god are raging inside me

The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

Nobody understands this album like I do, and nobody understands me like this album does.

It was the summer of 2022, and I was entangled in the last few months of a terrible relationship with a terribly dull boy. I was reading Tumblr fan fiction, which had been recommended to me by some girl in my history class (whom I despised, by the way). The protagonist of this particular story was having trouble falling asleep so she played some music, and the author decided that this song should be Degausser by Brand New. Intrigued, I copied and pasted the lyrics into the search bar, and went and listened to the song.

At the time, I had no words for how I felt. It reminded me of a place I had never been, of a childhood that I never had. I distinctly remember describing it to a friend as 'Marble Hornets, without any of the plot of Marble Hornets. Just white people running around Tuscaloosa in 2009 with a video camera.'

I then went to the comments section of the video, and saw aforementioned white people talk about their aforementioned lives in 2009. These are the kinds of stories I see associated with this album, of some doomed love in late 2000s suburban America, and these are the kinds of stories that bloomed in my mind as I heard the guitar riff of Degausser for the very first time. Listen to You Won't Know enough times, and you'd feel as if you'd just lived a whole other life. Listen to the entire album enough times, and you'd have lived a hundred.

I would call this the greatest album of all time. Of course, I am still young, and have merely dipped my toes in the realm of music. There are still plenty of songs left for me to discover. But I know for a fact that this album will follow me for the rest of my life. The rest of this blogpost will be spent going into some depth on how I feel about each song, but I first want to write about the album as a whole.

In August of 2022 I went on some mad researching spree for this album, reading about its development and reading lots of reviews, which I had never done for an album before. I found out about the cover image and Nicholas Prior's Age of Man, and I looked through every single photograph in that collection. I read about the origins of many of the songs, like the death of Katie Flynn inspiring Limousine, and Roky Erickson's Bloody Hammer's relation to the lyrics of Degausser.

Most of the reviews I read were written by people a couple of decades my senior. After all, the album came out a year before I was born. I wasn't there to watch the post-hardcore boom, and I only really found out good music existed, like, three years ago. But I trust when these reviewers say that this album is immortal. It has been almost eighteen years since its release, and it still speaks to the youth. They call it one of the most influential emo albums of the mid-2000s, and I can believe that. Lacey isn't exactly the greatest person, but that adds a layer of authenticity to his lyrics. The themes of morality, religion, and heartbreak run rampant through every song, on top of beautiful instrumentals. As a young person, I find that a lot of this speaks to me.

Disclaimer: I do not condone any of the things Jesse Lacey has done.

Sowing Season (Yeah)

Funnily enough, the very first track on this album is my least favourite. Not that it's bad or anything, it's just one of the last ones I ever listened to, and I don't have much of an emotional connection to it. Still quite enjoyable, and I like the chorus especially. Lacey screaming 'Yeah!' over and over again is fun.

Millstone

This is the second song that I listened to out of the entire album. I remember this because it was also the second song from this album that I begged all my friends to listen to. The lyrics 'I used to pray like God was listening, I used to make my parents proud' really resonated with me, as well as the overarching idea of being a changed person, and wanting things to go back to the way things were.

Jesus Christ

This is the most popular song from this album, and for very good reason. It was initially my least favourite of all, but it really grew on me. The final couple of verses are probably my favourite part of the song. The lyrics are significantly less religious than I thought they would be when I first read the title, but Lacey still maintains some religious references, as he does throughout the album.

Degausser

I may be a tinge biased, but I consider this the greatest song of all time. Because I never really paid attention to my piano teacher, my understanding of music theory is very limited, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. But I remember the way this song made me feel the very first time I listened to it, at two o'clock in the morning with my then-boyfriend asleep on call. It felt like a girlhood I had never known.

Since then, I have tried and failed (mostly failed) to force everyone I know to learn it on the guitar with me. I could play the song perfectly once, over a year ago, but I haven't practiced in a while and I've forgotten all of the tabs.

On many occasions I have told myself that this will be the last song I listen to before I die, and my opinion of it has not changed since. This may very well be the most influential song of my entire life.

Limousine

The first time I listened to this song in full, I was in Literature class. Prior to that, I was a little intimidated by it, solely because of its length. But then I finally got around to listening to it, and I enjoyed it so much that I spent the entirety of that lesson with it on repeat. It was also my first proper exposure to 'songs with very long outros with random noises', and since then I have absolutely loved songs with very long outros with random noises, such as I Don't Wanna Be Me and The Sweater Song.

You Won't Know

This was the third song I listened to from the album. I don't know why I remember that. I do remember really wanting to learn it on the guitar, but I never really got around to it. We all know Jesse Lacey is a slippery slope, and why anyone's daughter would want to get with a man who looks like that is beyond me, but it makes for good music so I won't complain too much. I also remember thinking that what Lacey wrote in the chorus about Kay was insane. You can't just call her her mother's worst mistake bro damn!

Welcome to Bangkok

Before I listened to this song, I never really understood the appeal of instrumental songs, but now I do. I keep begging my friends in my half-formed band to learn to play it with me, since it's relatively easy, but we never got around to it because our one drummer is always busy. Now I'm genuinely angry that my family cancelled our summer trip to Bangkok, because I would've made so many terrible jokes with this song.

Not The Sun

I recall crying to this song a lot in early 2023. Maybe because it reminded me a lot of a couple from the book I was reading at the time (it was Kanej).

Luca

Although I prefer the demo version of this song, the final one is still incredible. I got really excited when I found out that this song was loosely based on Luca Brasi from The Godfather, since I was in my pretentious filmbro phase.

Untitled

This is literally just noises. 10/10, makes me cry.

Archers

Archers speaks to me, especially in a religious context. One time I got super high while listening to this album and I remember playing this song on repeat for an hour while losing my mind since I had accidentally overdosed. At the moment, this is the track I listen to the most out of the whole album, since I've been going through several religious crises. 

Handcuffs

This song tends to be a favourite amongst my friends. Every time I recommend this album to someone, they point out how they really enjoyed this track. Apparently a lot of people like it when albums close with a more emotional song.